Apr 5, 2012

Mma (Mother or Part 1 in a Series of Firsts)

How is it mid-April already?
So far this month has been filled with a few interesting firsts.
I spent April Fool’s Day attending an event 33 years in the making …
My grandmother’s funeral!
Yeahhh.
No joke (there’s no punchline)

In Ghana it’s not unheard of for families to put off a funeral and then have a big, en mass one to acknowledge the death of a group of people. My maternal grandmother (mom’s mom) passed away about 33 years ago, and now her side of the family (based in the Upper East Region/Bolga area) was ready to have a ceremony to commemorate her and her only brother (my great grand-uncle?!). Although at the time, a funeral was held in the house where my grandmother was married, her side of the family wouldn’t have had much of an opportunity to be part of the process  given the state of communication and transportation in rural Ghana 30+ years ago.

Unfortunately for the short timing, not all of the children were able to attend. I went, repping my mom, along with six of my aunts and uncles. In true Ghanaian fashion we roadtripped it up North to Bolga in a tro-tro that stalled and started rolling backwards on more than one occasion. Thankfully we made it in one piece. For me it was a chance to see my mom’s oldest brother, my uncle Dan (55) and so now I can say I’ve officially seen all 14 of my aunts and uncles since arriving in January (I should get a prize).

The delegation - mom's six siblings & their aunt


Main compound
We did the traditional jaunt of meandering between huts and greeting relatives that I can barely trace. The most memorable part of the trip was actually seeing my great-grandfather’s house where my grandmother was raised. Despite all the development in the area the house was still as traditional as ever – thatched roofs, no electricity or running water – old school . We even slept in the main compound that night, underneath the stars (which sounds like the biggest cliché ever).


Shared wall
Retatching the roof


They say the course of true love never did run smooth, it apparently had a lot to do with proximity because we also got the privilege of walking over a mile (fun right?) to the house where my great-grandmother lived in (my great-great grandfather’s house) before she got married and had my g-ma (long family line, I know!).

View of g-ma's ma's house
Sacrificial altar near the exit














Old school kitchen
 
My grandmother’s cousins (58) still lived in the house and were able to tell us stories about her and how clearly they remember the day they heard the news about her passing.


Two generations of uncles (Left, my uncle. Right, his uncle)

Another of grandma's cousins

Funerals in Africa are never a bleak affair and thus we began at the crack of dawn with the 3Ds – drinking, drumming and dancing. Young and old, the entire community came out to pay their respects. The “funeral house” was packed with people as the drumming processions came in waves and the local brew of pito was fresh and flowing a-plenty.

Pito being brewed the good ol' way with millet
Drumming procession 1
Drumming procession 2

Older relatives dancing for offerings

Even though I’ve never met my grandmother I felt extremely honored to be able to participate in and be a witness to the celebration of her life. I feel like we have a special bond because I was the first grandchild to be named after her; Hawa. For this reason my aunts and uncles all call me “Mma” which means “Mother” in Hausa. I'm so proud that I get to rep my grandmother’s memory and the name we share (which is really my middle name, p.s.) forms such a part of my identity; the person I am and who I hope to become.

I write this for my mother, to her mother; where words fail us, rituals & timeless traditions will bring us back together.

2 comments:

  1. wow,,that's some great piece of work done..well done

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  2. my middle name is my gramma's name too, and my mom's and now I passed it on to TJ. I feel the honour in carrying names forward, now 4 generations, and the name occurs further back than that...but it connected me to my family and influenced / encouraged my family history quest...

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