Showing posts with label funeral. Show all posts
Showing posts with label funeral. Show all posts

Apr 5, 2012

Mma (Mother or Part 1 in a Series of Firsts)

How is it mid-April already?
So far this month has been filled with a few interesting firsts.
I spent April Fool’s Day attending an event 33 years in the making …
My grandmother’s funeral!
Yeahhh.
No joke (there’s no punchline)

In Ghana it’s not unheard of for families to put off a funeral and then have a big, en mass one to acknowledge the death of a group of people. My maternal grandmother (mom’s mom) passed away about 33 years ago, and now her side of the family (based in the Upper East Region/Bolga area) was ready to have a ceremony to commemorate her and her only brother (my great grand-uncle?!). Although at the time, a funeral was held in the house where my grandmother was married, her side of the family wouldn’t have had much of an opportunity to be part of the process  given the state of communication and transportation in rural Ghana 30+ years ago.

Unfortunately for the short timing, not all of the children were able to attend. I went, repping my mom, along with six of my aunts and uncles. In true Ghanaian fashion we roadtripped it up North to Bolga in a tro-tro that stalled and started rolling backwards on more than one occasion. Thankfully we made it in one piece. For me it was a chance to see my mom’s oldest brother, my uncle Dan (55) and so now I can say I’ve officially seen all 14 of my aunts and uncles since arriving in January (I should get a prize).

The delegation - mom's six siblings & their aunt


Main compound
We did the traditional jaunt of meandering between huts and greeting relatives that I can barely trace. The most memorable part of the trip was actually seeing my great-grandfather’s house where my grandmother was raised. Despite all the development in the area the house was still as traditional as ever – thatched roofs, no electricity or running water – old school . We even slept in the main compound that night, underneath the stars (which sounds like the biggest clichĂ© ever).


Shared wall
Retatching the roof


They say the course of true love never did run smooth, it apparently had a lot to do with proximity because we also got the privilege of walking over a mile (fun right?) to the house where my great-grandmother lived in (my great-great grandfather’s house) before she got married and had my g-ma (long family line, I know!).

View of g-ma's ma's house
Sacrificial altar near the exit














Old school kitchen
 
My grandmother’s cousins (58) still lived in the house and were able to tell us stories about her and how clearly they remember the day they heard the news about her passing.


Two generations of uncles (Left, my uncle. Right, his uncle)

Another of grandma's cousins

Funerals in Africa are never a bleak affair and thus we began at the crack of dawn with the 3Ds – drinking, drumming and dancing. Young and old, the entire community came out to pay their respects. The “funeral house” was packed with people as the drumming processions came in waves and the local brew of pito was fresh and flowing a-plenty.

Pito being brewed the good ol' way with millet
Drumming procession 1
Drumming procession 2

Older relatives dancing for offerings

Even though I’ve never met my grandmother I felt extremely honored to be able to participate in and be a witness to the celebration of her life. I feel like we have a special bond because I was the first grandchild to be named after her; Hawa. For this reason my aunts and uncles all call me “Mma” which means “Mother” in Hausa. I'm so proud that I get to rep my grandmother’s memory and the name we share (which is really my middle name, p.s.) forms such a part of my identity; the person I am and who I hope to become.

I write this for my mother, to her mother; where words fail us, rituals & timeless traditions will bring us back together.

Feb 6, 2012

Yaa Jid-dah? (How’s home?)

This train just keeps rolling and I haven’t felt this continuously occupied in a long while.

The recent gap between the last and current post has been due to my week-long (literally, seven days) stay in the village where my parents were raised and met; Gambaga. (This is a super rural part of Ghana where it’s still the norm to cook using firewood or charcoal pits)


Tamale (where I ususally live) to Gambaga (the village) route


The entire (and I do mean ENTIRE) family congregated there to memorialize, mark and mourn the life of my paternal grandmother, Joekib Kombian. Although the time spent there was very personal and intimate for me, I still think that the Ghanaian funeral process is a worthwhile cultural experience to document. 

I’ve never been privy to the details of a traditional Ghanaian funeral, let alone the intricacies of our tribal (Bimoba) customs, combined with the conventional Christian service.

As my dad explained it, “Wisdom here is equal to age.” Funerals in Ghana are social events, on par with the ornateness of a large wedding. The passing of an older individual and community pillar will see a comparatively larger audience than that of a young child. My grandmother was a wife, mother of seven, and surrogate mother to many of her grandchildren and orphaned relatives. She was also the mother of one of the first people in the entire tribe to complete school from primary to University level and to leave the country (my dad), and was fiercely respected.

It’s here that I’ll note that my count-down of family members will go on a temporarily halt due to the very nature and sheer amount of relatives I saw within those seven days. Within the lines of the local customs the people in attendance ranged from my grandmother’s:
-     Husband (my grandfather), children (my dad and his siblings), sons & daughters in-law (my mom), grandchildren (myself), great grandchildren (some of my cousins are parents!)
-     Siblings (her remaining brothers and sisters + their spouses, children, etc)
-     In-laws (my grandfather’s brothers and sisters + their spouses, children, etc)

I’m getting confused already :p
So that was strictly family.

Then you add in all of the people who were remotely close to my grandmother or any key members of the family. So for example, five of my mother’s siblings attended (especially since they had all grown up in the village and had known grandma from childhood), but my dad also had classmates from his school days make appearances. Elders and tribal chiefs (entourage in tow) from neighboring villages were also called to attend. Needless to say, there were MANY, MANY people.


Bulls used for the funeral

So now that the extensive guest list has been cleared the next major element becomes the issue of being able to feed everyone during the funeral time period. As is the local tradition, people offer support and condolences in the form of livestock and meat (African’s LOVE their meat) to be prepared during the funeral. The family was given a bull and several goats purely for use during the funeral.


Cooking was divided within three camps; my grandparents’ house, my mother’s childhood house and a family guesthouse that we had acquired to accommodate everyone from out of town. Every day of the funeral each group would divide and conquer in a mass cook-off to ensure that all of the core family, elders and distinguished guests had enough food and were well fed. Everything from the local corn flour dishes with soup to  rice, salad and pasta were prepared. I even went on a grocery shopping quest with my aunts to buy a ridiculous amount of fresh vegetables; enough to fill up the back of a pick-up truck.

Dancing with grandpa (left) and his younger brother (right)
at the funeral house
Friday & Saturday (Jan 27, 28) were the main days of the funeral, but in the days leading up to and afterwards there were a few standard practices that were recognized. Each morning, everyone made at least one visit to “The Funeral House” (my grandparents’ house) to greet my grandfather specifically as well as any other elders on the premises. From that point onwards you normally went around from hut to hut, greeting a variety of family members and village locals and who had some connection to the family. For me this was a very interesting experience because the last time I had spent a significant amount of time in Gambaga was when I was 5 (17 years ago – ouch!) and so there more than a few people whom I could not place or recognize. The reverse was also very much true!

The tribal attitude toward death in old age is very celebratory; in this respect it made perfect sense that every night that week there were speakers set up and music blasting outside of the funeral house so that people could dance to honor the life of the departed.

Little did I know that this was to be an introduction to the traditional Bimoba funeral day (Friday). We were joined by the whole village, including drummers and dancers who led a 6 hour dancing session.

Funeral crowd

Traditional dancers and drummers
Young and old, male and female are joined in a moving dancing circle (representing the Circle of Life or something symbolic I’m sure, I just watched The Lion King last night so I have that song on the brain). The Bimoba trademark is some serious hip shaking with a waist garment made of cowrie shells. I was pretty impressed by the men who were able to move incredibly well. I,  on the other hand was only able to make a modest effort as I’m pretty sure I pulled a muscle while trying to move in a circle in time to the rhythm, whilst shaking my hips. It wasn’t pretty but people appreciated the effort J.



 
A feeble attempt at dancing with cowrie shells!
Saturday took on a different tune with a (more) traditional, outdoor church service. This was what I had anticipated and what I was more familiar with, from a Canadian perspective. Readings were done by factions of the family, expressing what grandma had meant to us, how she had changed us and why we would forever miss her. It was a nice moment that I’m glad I got to share with many people who felt the same way.

Sunday marked a day of Thanksgiving – that’s to say that as an immediate family we all kind of paired off to go and thank elders, chiefs, community members and friends for attending to celebrate and pay their respects with us. My uncle and I went to one of the surrounding towns to thank one of the pastors for officiating the Saturday memorial service. One of my cousin’s classmates (whose dad happens to be a Bimoba chief in a surrounding town) had also attended Friday’s festivities, so we paid him a visit, expressing our gratitude.  

The experience of saying goodbye to my grandmother was a bittersweet realization of the passage of time. I had last seen her seven years ago and had surely taken it for granted that she would be around on my next visit to Ghana. Conversely I truly felt the meaning and bond of family within the Ghanian context – a sacrifice, respect and love that knows no bounds.